Her Guilt by Kelly Robucci

Her Guilt
Illustration by Sydney Varajon

August marks 2 years
of a woman who bore 2 children
One living
One dead
A woman
who experienced 3 pregnancies
6 years ago
1.5 years ago
1 year ago
A mother’s guilt for her one child’s wish for a brother or sister
A mother’s guilt for her inability to make this happen
A woman’s guilt for her shortcomings to yield her own buried desire of a healthy child
of bearing this guilt in silence and thinking
… feeling…
like she’s the only one suffering

A woman’s guilt of being a statistic
1: 15,700 children are diagnosed with MCADD
1: 10,000 children die from anencephaly
1: 20,000 pregnancies end in stillbirths
1: 500,000 pregnancies end in a first trimester miscarriage
1: 10 struggle with infertility

August marks 2 years
and this woman’s guilt, though heavy, will not hold her down,
Or keep her quiet
She’ll begin to share her story
She’ll begin to talk about the son she lost
She’ll begin to heal
She’ll begin to own her truth

Because she knows and stands in her guilt
as a mother, as a woman
For it does not define her or her story


IMG_20180109_194043Kelly Robucci is a mom, a wife, a working woman, an educator, an avid reader, a novice writer, and lover of Thai food and wine.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s